6 July 2026

A mouse reappeared in the kitchen this rainy night, precisely two weeks from the rainy night I trapped the last. Rooted around tonight for the remaining traps and found one with a partial snakeskin leaving iridescent traces in the glue, a mirror of the snakeskin found in the gravel in front of the house yesterday.

I razed the garter snake haunt weeks ago, a primitive fire pit built a few feet from the front door, convenient to the kitchen cupboard where the traps are best laid. (Compared to NYC, the mice here are naïfs; the two I've taken each lasted only a few minutes from baiting to disposal.) Notable that I have not seen the snakes in the yard since but though stealthy they clearly have not gone far from their preferred food source. In driving them off I broke one of their tails, an inadvertent act turned a haunting omen in a moment not long ago when I was more consumed with the notion of my own fate.

Funny that (in principle, at any rate) I should mind snakes in the cupboard less than mice. I have lived with mice and found them uniformly unsympathetic creatures; snakes, while alarming, are possessed with a certain hauteur. A recurring nightmare as a child of falling into a swarm of snakes carpeting a neighbor's front yard; a memory of an agitated water snake by the creek in flood; my mother’s unreliable story of the constrictor approaching my crib; the shrieking surprise of a garter dropped onto my head as a pubescent prank. (Are these comparatively mundane household encounters only untroubling because the present is too exhausting to keep up with?)

The cupboard is pitched over an open crawlspace long since slated for enclosure for reasons other than pests; recent events suggest it should be advanced in priority. A contracting job well done may deter them permanently. I think of the D.H. Lawrence poem where he is awed by an adder, then throws a rock to drive it away, and then regrets it.

The archaeolgical salad spinner has been casually replaced for a princely sum. I imagine david would not approve, as I do not.

5 July 2026

Drove back to Newfield from Chestertown after two weeks away. Fourth round trip in as many months felt like coming home in a way it hadn't before. Spotty showers turned to steady drizzle; Cappy and I lay down on the bed and fell asleep. Woke myself for a grocery run and went all out, since the larder was intentionally bare. Allowed myself to look for things like bread for the first time rather than trying to beat the clock while the dog waits in the car. Making peace with the notion that life in this house will not be disciplined like the last (one weekly trip to the store; pots of yogurt, then oatmeal, prepared twice weekly, etc.) for a while to come, or for the arrival of a prep surface.

Excepting of course the david stein Memorial Salad Spinner, which has finally succumbed to entropy and must be replaced. (david's cheese bell happily upcycled from the end of the old driveway; why was it so important that I be heir to it, or to anything else?). I am accustomed to instigating purges, but this time the judgments are not mine and I dare not refuse them. How could so many eternal things simply break after a month in storage? Better to be a narcissist and call it a cosmic conspiracy.

Did a lot of knitting while gone, less and less adequate the further it proceeds. What a joy and wonder it would be to get rid of every lick of fiber and fabric in the place, to create something hideous and never look at it again!